How to Honor Your Parents

'Honour thy father and thy mother' is the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12) and the first with a promise. Ephesians 6:2 — 'the first commandment with promise.' Honor is owed to parents — including imperfect parents, including in adulthood. This guide walks through how.

Biblical Foundation

Exodus 20:12 — 'Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land.' Ephesians 6:1-3 — children obey, all of us honor, with promise. Mark 7:9-13 — Jesus rebuked those who used 'Corban' to avoid honoring parents financially. Honor is a lifelong obligation.

Step by Step

  1. 1

    Children: obey

    Ephesians 6:1 — 'Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.' Obedience is the form of honor for those still under parents.

    See Ephesians 6:1
  2. 2

    Adults: respect and care

    Obedience to parental commands ends in adulthood, but honor doesn't. Respect, care, and presence continue.

  3. 3

    Speak well of them

    Honor includes how you speak — to them and about them. Don't mock or shame, even in private.

  4. 4

    Provide when needed

    1 Timothy 5:4 — providing for aged parents is 'good and acceptable before God.' Care for them practically.

  5. 5

    Forgive their failures

    Imperfect parents still deserve honor. Forgive what needs forgiving. Don't carry resentment.

  6. 6

    Set wise boundaries when needed

    Honor doesn't mean enabling abuse. You can honor from a safe distance, with prayer and respectful refusal of harm.

Common Mistakes

  • Confusing honor with agreement — you can honor without agreeing.
  • Withholding honor because of past hurts — forgive; honor still applies.
  • Confusing honor with continued childhood obedience — adult relationships are different.
  • Letting honor enable harm — wise boundaries can coexist with honor.
  • Postponing honor — say what you need to say while they're alive.

Practical Tips

  • Call regularly. Visit when possible.
  • Speak well of them to your children.
  • Pray for them daily.
  • Express specific gratitude.
  • Plan ahead for care as they age.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to honor your father and mother?

To honor parents means to value, respect, care for, speak well of, and provide for them. For children at home, it includes obedience (Ephesians 6:1). For adults, obedience to parental commands ends, but respect, care, and provision continue (1 Timothy 5:4). The Bible treats this as a lifelong obligation.

Do adults have to honor their parents?

Yes — though the form changes. Adult honor includes respect, care, regular contact, providing when needed (1 Timothy 5:4), and speaking well of them. Adult children are no longer required to obey parental commands, but the obligation to honor remains.

How do I honor difficult or abusive parents?

Honor doesn't require enabling harm. You can honor from a safe distance — through prayer, respect in speech, not slandering, refusing vengeance. Some adult children must maintain limited contact for safety. This is wise, not dishonoring. Talk to a pastor or Christian counselor for guidance in difficult cases.

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